Whose Problem Is It?

If you do all the talking, whose problem is it? There is a simple principle at play here - we are more likely to support that which we help create. When it comes to problem solving and decision making, the more input you allow from other people, the more ownership and buy in you gain for the resulting solution or decision. Listen to others and win their support. It's how you build better collaboration.

Become A Human Lie Detector

Police investigators and interrogators are experts at detecting lies. When Richard Nixon said; "I am not a crook" that is not the typical way an innocent person talks about himself. In every day language we usually don't use negations that way. Instead we would describe ourselves along the lines of; "I am an honest person." You too can become a human lie detector when you pay attention to what and how people say things.

Improved Responses

I once heard a direct marketeer describe the recipe to his secret sauce like this; clarify, verify, testify and get 'em to buy. He said those steps were the best in order to attract high response rates. He is right. In a sales situation it is the same thing; be clear in your communication, make sure about the customer need, exemplify with other customers and ask for the order. It does not matter if you are selling a product or just your idea.

Relationships With People And Things

We think of relationships as something we have with people, either good or bad. In good relationships there is attraction and wanting to spend more time together and in bad relationships there is a repelling pull to keep us apart. I want you to reflect on the fact that we have relationships to everything in our world, some good relationships and others bad. For example; what is your relationship to money, achievement, success, health and happiness? Do they fall in the good or bad category?

Show Respect

Listening is one of the most tangible ways we can express respect in the modern workplace. Go ahead, I am listening. Say it genuinely and authentically and it tells people that they are valued and respected. Think about how you feel when someone says; "Shut up. I am talking now." to you. You express respect when you show that you are listening.

Be Brief And Keep It Short

Less is more! Be brief and to the point. Churchill suggested that a person who can not summarize his/her message into a one pager he does not know what he/she is talking about. There is some truth to that. It takes more concentration of thought to keep a message short and to the point. Distill your communication down into its key components and condense for clarity. In your role as a leader, your communication skills are of paramount importance. Keep it short!

Adapt Your Communication

Adapt your communication to the person you are talking to. This is particularly important when you want to influence the other individual. In sales, for example, studies show that you can as much as double your closing rate, just by adapting to the style of the person you are talking to. People that are good with interpersonal relationship skills do this all the time intuitively. You can do it on purpose, once you learn how to do it.